I’m actually crying right now: dogs are beautiful and precious and loyal and happy and your dog loves you so much. Such a good dog.
"I am president of the TV and there’s nun’ you can do about it, Pussy."
if i die my funerals gonna be the biggest fucken party and you’re all invited
great, the only party ive ever been invited to and he might not even die
when white boys make fun of girls getting drunk im kinda just like but have you seen white boys wasted. they start rapping and whispering into girls necks and start yelling racist shit to people on the street. when girls get wasted it just means we’re all super nice to each other in the bathroom and dance to beyonce
Cause of death: red lobster garlic bread overdose